Life doesn't stop for anything! :)

As you can see, keeping up on my blog is nearly impossible for me. I am about as consistent as I am with writing in my journal. In fact, I started the blog to ease my guilt at not keeping a journal-I thought I'd be better at this. Not so much, it turns out. :) But I do want to record and remember all of the great and even not so great moments of my life. I have a wonderful life full of wonderful people and I want to be able to look back and see where we we've been. So, my New Year's (ok, so I'm a few months late--I've been busy) resolution is to add to my blog more than once a year. Surely I can do that?

I have to start with these great pictures that Chrissy Martin took for us. She is so talented and I she did an amazing job. I'm updating all of the pictures of my kids here. They've grown and changed.






We've had a busy year which included all kinds of activities. Soccer, softball, band, scouts, piano and church activities to name a few. We spent a lot of last year with Mark living in New Mexico. It was hard for our family and we missed him. Because of that, our most recent adventure involved a move to Lubbock, TX so that we could be together. I am still adjusting to the new location and I miss Fruita, Colorado like crazy. I don't think that I took for granted the amazing lifestyle that we enjoyed there, but now that we have moved, I really know how much I loved our time there. But we are making friends and learning to love things here in Texas. We have already met heaps of great people whom we are adding to our long list of people to love. Lexi had her tonsils out in March after having strep throat five times in a few months. The recovery was long and painful. She lost twelve pounds and nearly broke my heart. But now that she is feeling better and has been strep-free, we are thinking it was a good decision. Luke, Emily, Max and I were involved in a car accident in March. A woman slid on some ice and turned right in front of me. There was no way to avoid hitting her. Then after our car came to a stop in the road, another car came along, hit the same ice and slid into our car again. Not my best morning ever! :) Luckily, nobody was injured in any of the cars. I felt very blessed even though my minivan was totaled. I was reminded of one of the blessings of being a member of the church. A woman who I recognized from Relief Society, saw the accident and stopped to check on us. We had to introduce ourselves because we had never actually met, but I can't tell you how good it was to see the face of a sister from my ward. Mark is busy working and serving in the church. He commutes to Lovington, NM almost every day. It's a long drive, but we feel like living in Lubbock was a better plan for our family. I think this is where we are supposed to be right now. There are only a few more days left in this school year and we are all ready for summer!! I'm looking forward to going to girl's camp in June. It will be Emily's first year and I'm excited that I get to go with her. Luke will go to Especially For Youth that same week. Lexi, Adelaide and Max will get to spend the week with my parents. I'm thankful to my parents for being willing to help me. June will also be busy with football and tennis camps, and then we are planning to go to Utah for Mark's brother's wedding. We have planned a detour through Colorado. Yea!!!

There! I should be good for another year or so. :)

I hesitate to write today, but I think it might be liberating to say some of the things that have been trapped in my head. April 1st I learned of my sister's death. The news came as a shock. I will admit that my relationship with my sister was sometimes difficult. I was sometimes jealous of women who had sisters who were their best friends. But now that she is actually gone, I realize how sad I am. I have a lot of guilt and I feel in many ways that I let her down. That train of thought doesn't help anyone today. Not her, not me. But it's very difficult to let it go. All I can do is be thankful that in the last year or so we did spend some good time together. We enjoyed each other more than we had in a very long time. And she had begun to build a relationship with my children. I'm thankful for that. I have many questions and no answers. All I do know is that life is fragile and we really truly cannot afford to waste time or hold a grudge or be unkind. I tell myself all the time that I will never regret doing a kind thing, but I may always regret missing an opportunity or doing something hurtful. And a day like today reminds me that I am sometimes pretty smart :) because I do regret all the missed chances I had. And regret is not only uncomfortable, but it can be unbelievably painful.

Valentine's day--may be too personal. :) Feel free to skip this one.

Since Valentine's day is fast approaching, I thought this might be a good time to express my love for my wonderful family. This may get a little sappy, but I would never want these people to wonder if I love them.

I was raised by parents who love me unconditionally. They taught me and gave me direction. When I disappointed them, they forgave me. When I succeeded, they celebrated. When I felt unsure, they were my cheering section. And their prayers were, and still are, constant and sustaining. I cannot express my gratitude in a way that even begins to show how I feel. I love them.

I'm married to an amazing man. We didn't love each other from the moment we met, but it didn't take long for me to recognize Mark's amazing heart. I don't take for granted the fact that I have someone to share my life with who I can love and trust and depend on. He is generous and wise. I admire and respect him. I hope that I tell him often enough how much I appreciate him. And I hope that I express through kindness and service how much I love him because I know how I feel, but he needs to know too and words sometimes don't seem adequate.

My life is full and my heart is too because of my children. I am so blessed to be their mom. There are a million things that I wish that I could teach them. I wish that I could take all the pain they will experience in life and protect them from it. I wish that they wouldn't have to feel sorrow or lonliness or fear. I wish that I could make them happy and secure. Unfortunately, that just isn't the way it works. I will do my best and I will try to be what they need me to be, but I will probably fall short. So I look back to my own parents' example hoping to find an answer. I guess the best thing I can do is pray for them. I hope the knowledge that I am pleading with the Lord in their behalf will give them courage and hope when they need it most. I want them to know that I love them more than they imagine.

I also am blessed with great siblings and a very large extended family of cousins, in-laws, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends. They are all dear to me and I count myself seriously lucky.

I wish that I could see all of the people that I love this Valentine's day. That would be one great party!

Where did January go?

Or December? Or November? How is it possible to have a quarter of a year slip by like that? It's not that I didn't realize it was happening. I just was absolutely powerless to slow things down a bit. November was busy, but we enjoyed a quiet Thanksgiving. My sister Dawn came down from Salt Lake. We loved having her and her dog Ali. In fact, that weekend may have sealed our fate. The kids became even more determined to talk us into getting a dog. December was full of holiday activities and preparations. Christmas and New Year's Day came and went. Our new dog Tuxedo came and stayed. He's cute and I'm happy that he's here, but I didn't fully understand how much like a new baby he would be. The crying and wanting to be held. The potty training (remember how I just got Max trained) and waking up at night. Luckily we're over the worst I think. Tux seems to be very smart and fits right into the family. We stayed right here in Fruita for the holidays and it was great. We didn't travel this year and it was a nice break. Especially since we had a very snowy year, making travel conditions bad a lot of the time.







We had a couple of birthdays. Max turned four on December 9th and Emily turned 11 on January 28th. My kids keep growing up whether I like it or not. The good news is that I like it. I've decided that I enjoy each stage my kids are in. I hate to see them grow up, but I love to see them becoming them. They are interesting people and I'm so thankful that I'm a part of their lives!

Halloween

We survived another Halloween. My monsters were as cute as ever and got bucket-loads of candy. Missing from this picture is Luke the hula dancer and Frankenstein Mark. They were both very attractive! And Lexi's wormy apple didn't have its worm yet. We went to Grand Junction for the downtown Halloween activities the weekend before the actual holiday. It's always good to get a little extra mileage out of those costumes! It makes me feel better about the effort I put into them and it's a good time to iron out any kinks. After this initial wearing of the costumes, Max discovered that his mask was uncomfortable and Emily found that her collar wouldn't stay up in the back. I spent some time fixing these issues and thought that all was well. Unfortunately, Max refused to wear his mask on Halloween night. I tried to explain that due to my cleverness, he had the cadillac of Batman masks, but it was useless. I find that my cleverness often goes unappreciated so I shouldn't have been surprised. The good news is that the kids all had a good time and they are already telling me what they're going to be next year. I'm just happy that it's a year away because I may need that long to recover!

A lesson in friendship.

Yesterday afternoon I lost Max. I was cooking dinner and suddenly realized that I hadn't seen him for a while. The front door was locked so I was sure that he was somewhere in the house. I called, but there was no answer. I looked and couldn't find him. I thought maybe he had escaped through the garage and gone to play with his best friend next door. I went to check and he wasn't there. I came home and searched again-under every bed, in every closet and cupboard, in the yard. He wasn't anywhere. That's when I started to panic. Shila came and started helping me look through the house. I called Jen and within minutes she and Alyssa were out with their strollers looking around the neighborhood. Emily came home to help. She had been in the house about a minute when she found him asleep on the floor between her bed and the wall. I swear I had looked there! Relief washed over me and I was so thankful for my friends who rushed to help me. We all went back to our dinner making and other evening activities. Then Shila came over with her son. He was crying and wanted to see Max for himself. He was so worried that Max had been lost and thought that we couldn't find him. It brought me to tears to see that kind of frienship between three year old boys. What a sweet, tender heart! Max was oblivious to the whole thing, but I think he knows that he's got a special friend.

The crazy things moms do.

A few weeks ago I was in the mall and saw some beautiful holiday dresses for sale--all matching and all different sizes. I had one of those moments where I could picture my beautiful girls all dressed in their matching outfits and I caved. I know that my days of choosing what my girls wear are numbered so I had to take advantage of it. And then I was compelled to find matching outfits for my handsome boys too. I could imagine how gorgeous our Christmas cards would be this year. It was all fun in my fantasy world, but the reality was a little less than perfect. Mark's sister Leah was in town so I asked her to take some pictures. After fighting to get the girls hair done, getting everyone dressed just so, getting out the door, and discovering that Luke was still wearing white socks they all became resigned to the inevitable and were good sports. Leah was patient while we tried to get everyone just to look the same way at the same moment. It was a bit of a chore, but the result was a perfect, beautiful memory that far exceeded my fantasy. These are my real live kids with their quirks and imperfections and I think they're the most amazing people on the planet. And this year's Christmas card will be gorgeous afterall!